srećan uskrs. meni drugi, ko što rekoh, bogata sam uskrsima ove sezone. od prvog do drugog bilo je... najblaže rečeno dinamično. sve se mislim, odlazi ova trodimenzionalna realnost pa sad mora da nas keca, onako za kraj. plus je bilo i prvo pomračenje posle prvog uskrsa, sad će još jedno, 10. maja, evo kolko za koji dan...

nasekirala sam se. umrla je ruška, andrejina mama. ne znam kolko smo vremena kod nje proveli dok smo rasli u glumce, pre i za vreme akademije. jedna od onih mama kod kojih je uvek moglo da se dođe na kazan i sedenje. odmah sutradan sam čula da je umro purić. slatki čovek purić, muž moje drugarice sa klase. nisam ga dobro znala, al koliko sam ga znala bio mi je simpa, duhovit. nema par meseci da mi je poslao neke stare slike sa predstave carmina burana, od pre... vidim nema ga na fb, nisam znala da je bolestan, ne čujem se sa njim svaki dan. u roku od pet minuta kad sam to čula, čula sam da je umro i sale grujić. gruja bas. znala sam ga od kad je bio dete. genijalni gruja, neshvaćen, ljut, tužan. ne znam što je umro, teško mi je da zovem njegovog tatu da pitam, da kažem bilo šta. gruja je za mene uvek bio klinac, dete bre mog druga. uf.

mnogi se odlučuju za tranziciju u drugu realnost u ovo vreme, jer nije lako podneti. ko da kažu, odoh ja sad, pa ću da se vratim kad se sve malo utiša. isto tako, mnogima je ovo vreme najlepše, ono zbog koga su se i rodili baš sad.

šta da kažem? drž'te se. još malo, samo još malo. sad su dostupne pećine kristala, 21 pećina plus kristal u jezgru zemlje, energetskih kristala koji su tu da pomognu da ostvarite svoje želje. svoje želje, ne želje za spas čovečanstva, nego svoje sebične, male i velike želje. strasti. otvorene su 21. decembra lane. to su naši energetski kristali, mi smo ih tu stavili jer smo znali da će jednog dana da nam trebaju baš za to, za naše velike i male želje, da promenimo svoje živote.

hristos vaskrse. samo nemojte da vas truju da je umro na krstu zbog vaših grehova. nema grehova, nema greške, sve je dobro u svemu stvorenom.




abundant in easters this season, this is my second one, orthodox easter, so we celebrate. we like to celebrate even when circumstances are not as favorable as we would wish...

between first and second easter i heard not_so_good_news. few people that were close to me in a way have chosen transition to other realms. they left. i was told about it in one day and it was not easy.

hang on, guys! 3d is going away. this is the best of times, times we have chosen to be born at, times of change. it's not easy, i know, but just hang on. all is well in all of creation!

ove godine sam bogata u uskrsima. prvo jedan, onda drugi. divno! slavimo sve što postoji u okolini. ovo su jaja za uskrs broj jedan. u kući nemam vaze, pa su tegle od nutele super poslužile za frezije i ovo poljsko cveće što ne znam šta je.

srećan uskrs, kome je.



i am abundant with easters this year. i celebrate both, one now, one on may 5th. yes! have no vases in the house, so nutella jars served the purpose for freesia and this wild flowers which i never saw before.

happy easter. if you so choose.

najzad. sad kolko god da je ladno, vetrovito, pada kiša, sneg il je prosto musavo, nazad nema. to jest, najzad proleće. jes da živim na suptropskom ostrvu, al sam se smrzla ove zime. zato sam jutros bila vredna i ustala rano da sačekam ravnodnevničko jutro na obali. da budem sigurna da je svanulo. nadala sam se da vidim neki spektakularni izlazak, al to nije bio slučaj. prosto, bilo je oblačno i sunce se pojavilo tek oko pola osam, kad je već ihaj odskočilo. u šes' nema nikog na obali. samo more, prolećno sunce, brod na horizontu i ja. i naravno, adamus i merabh za snove. merabh je nežna izmena svesti.









posle se brod približio pa sam ga bolje videla.





i da. srećna nova godina.


i say, at last. it can be snowy, rainy, foggy, cold and cloudy, but it's officially over. spring at last. indeed, i moved to a subtropical island, but this winter was very cold for me. after this point, no going back.

so i got up early and went to the beach to welcome spring sun, day one. it was not some spectacular sunrise since it was cloudy but i could see distant ship and smell the sea. not a living human soul was there but me at that early hour, how precious, how precious. i was sitting there for some time waiting the ship to come closer. even close she looked like some ghost ship from the movies, but i liked it. sea, spring sun, ship and me. ah. of course, adamus was there also, with this:



merabh of knowingness.

merabh is a gentle shift of consciousness.

so spring is here and all is well in all of creation. happy new year.

enjoy.

yesterday.

in calendar for this day it was written: ''you have all these things happening around you - drama flying all around, issues coming up, aspects that are going chaotic and crazy right now. you have all this commotion, but i say to you, 'ahmyo. be with this. be with you. be in trust.' it is ahmyo - the grace of trust in yourself. ~ adamus''

it was my birthday. away from home and friends. but it was beautiful day. sunny, easy, on my own most of the day. i went to the beach (my backyard beach, you know ) and i stayed there for hours. it was windy but not cold, little needles of water were pointing to my face and made it more beautiful, sea smelled lovely and i enjoyed Beyond Ancestral Biology Merabh in my earphones. very appropriate.

i bought myself nice bracelet and got tons of other presents from my family and thanks to them and my fb friends i didn't feel far away from anybody. thank you, guys, you do rock! then i treated myself to a theatre rehearsal in small english theatre in the island and it was oh, so nice to smell the curtains and visit actors and to just be there. theatre smells the same everywhere in the world. and has it's own, unique smell.

well, happy birthday to me. this is going to be wonderful year. i so know that. what else is possible?





juče. divan dan.

u kalendaru koji svaki dan okrećem na stolu za juče je pisalo: ''ima toliko stvari koje se sad dešavaju oko vas - svuda drama, iskaču problemi, aspekti, sad haotični i ludi. imate svu tu frku, ali reći ću vam, 'amio. budite sa time. budite sa sobom. imajte poverenja.' to je amio - milost imanja poverenja u sebe. ~ adamus''.

bio je zaista divan dan. iako sam daleko od kuće, pa su mi malo falili neki, opet je bio divan dan. sunce, talasi... odsedela sam na plaži par sati na vetru što je od mora pravio sitne iglice da me ubadaju u lice, sa mirabom izvan nasleđene biologije u slušalicama, vrlo prigodno. totalno uživanje. nikakva žurba, samo ja.

čini mi se da nikad nisam dobila lepše čestitke od fb prijatelja. hvala svima, mnogo mi je značilo. od familije tona poklona, ja mnogo volim da otpakujem poklone, pa i jesam. uveče sam sebe častila odlaskom na probu u malo englesko pozorište, bilo je super fajn da se sretnem sa glumcima i omirišem pozorište opet. pozorište svuda na svetu miriše isto.

pa, srećan mi rođendan. biće ovo famozna godina, vidim je. koje su još mogućnosti?

twenty twelve is officially over. new moon brought new year in full. i know we all felt changes new era brought already, but it's now that i expect everything to be... well, lighter. less dense, more easier. still it looks like nothing changed on the surface, so we don't see it yet, but we do feel. i do.

we went to explore parts of the island we haven't yet and it was oh, so windy. let the wind blow away what is not yours. let it blow through you and take what you don't need anymore. clean. clear.

it was wind yesterday and pouring rain cleansing today as a follow up. anew. if you have a chance, go and fetch the moon tonight. it's wonderful and magic.

so, let's see what happens next. i hope for some divine surprises.



sa novim mesecom se zvanično završila dveiljadedvanaesta. bog da joj dušu prosti, doviđenja i prijatno. aukurac. sa novim mesecom je načisto počelo novo doba i znam da svi osećaju da je lakše. ne vidi se još kako, al ja osećam. bilo je baš gusto poslednjih meseci, sad više nije toliko.

juče smo išli da istražimo delove ostrva koje još nismo stigli. južno, gde su klifovi i gde nema turista. bilo je vetrovito i kad je tako jak vetar nije loše stati i pustiti ga da oduva sve viškove, sve što nije naše. danas je pala kiša, zalila prilično i pokisli smo ko pacovi, al kiša je došla kao fini nastavak jučerašnjeg vetra, da ne kažem, čišćenja.

da vidimo šta je dalje bilo...

photo credits schkovich

happy new year.

2013. wow. how powerful are we? we got this far. and 2012 is over, whatever that means, old era is over, whatever that means, which is the best part of so far 2013. last year had it's moments. ahem. but let's remember good ones. like 4 pearl jam gigs, playing in theatre after quite some time, singing in a band, moving to a tropical island, meeting adamus ''in person'', to name but a few.

i am sure you also had moments like this. and also bad ones, but all of them are gone now and we are going kinda ahead, into the golden age abundant in magic. or so they say. if you feel it, you do. if you don't feel it, you do. ahead.

we celebrated quietly. nice food, walk to st. julians. no guns, no firework, but tons of drunk people totally wasted on the streets. mostly girls. and crazy shoes everywhere. i was pretty much in awe, like wtf? fortunately it's warm enough so that they can walk barefoot when they get tired of heels...

it literally started with a flow. our water heater broke so that we had sort of flood at 4am, what a party! never mind, flow is flow. it's sunny and dry today, windows are opened, sea is close. what else is possible?

enjoy this year more. laugh more, drink more water and love yourself unconditionally. allow good things to come to you. just allow.

let it be very happy. new. year. 2013.




najbolji deo 2013. do sad je što je 2012. gotova. imali smo trenutke. famozne. i grozne. ja ću da zapamtim one famozne, kao koncerti, kao igranje u pozorištu, kao pravljenje pesama i pevanje sa bendom, selidbu na tropsko ostrvo, susret sa adamusom... bilo je stvarno famozno s vremena na vreme.

al i famozno i grozno su prošli. ja bih dalje, napred, nazad ne može i onako. stoga, mda. jedva čekam da i ove godine sretnem te veličansvene trenutke. sad. te ''sad''. evo recimo, baš sad.

proslavili smo manje više kao i svaki dan što slavimo. dobra klopa, šetnja do sent džulijansa di smo videli neviđen broj potpuno pijanih žena koje su popadale po ulici, užasno ružne cipele u količinama, al srećom je toplo pa mogu da hodaju bose kad im visina dosadi. ništa pucnjava, par petardi u ponoć, ništa vatromet koji je ovde svakodnevna pojava leti...

nova godina je počela bukvalno da teče. procureo je bojler, pojma nemamo gde je ventil, baš je bila mala poplava u 4 ujutru. ima da teče ove godine? tako ću to da shvatim. teći će smeh i novac, kapiram. fala, da.

šta da vam kažem što već ne znate? staro doba je gotovo, ušli smo u zlatno doba. koje su mogućnosti? sve je moguće.

radujte se, smejte više ove godine, pijte više vode, volite sebe beskompromisno. pustite da vam dobre stvari uđu u život. samo to, pustite. se.

srećna nova godina. 2013. kolko smo daleko dogurali... kakve smo mi fore... a?

i? kakoe? mislim kako je prošao the kraj svega, tj. kraj sveta? i jel prošo uopšte? jebiga, ništa od toga. obični zimski solsticij. hehe

dan ko svaki drugi. duvao vetar, ništa od plivanja, malo sunca, malo kiše, nabrala sam još naramak cveća i sad čekam da vidim šta je posle bilo...

srećna završnica 26 soma godinica! uspeli smo da se dovučemo.





so, how was it? i mean, how did it go, the end of everything, or the end of the world? is it over yet or not? eek... nothing, eh? same old winter shortest day.

day as every other. little windy, little sunny, little rainy, happy then dull... i picked more wild flowers for my place, so all is well.

let's see what happens next. because next is important part. follow the strangest tribe.

happy end of 26k years. we made it. keep on keeping on, or in other words, keep on rocking in the new world.

(picture by schkovich from yesterdays party in skyparks. band unknown, song sympathy for the devil)

i wouldn't trade this for anything. really.



little chill at first but afterwards, i wouldn't leave the waters. so clean, so refreshing, so healing... of course, there was no wind and sun was warm just enough. maltese people say it's very healthy, although they would never do a thing like this. us, continentals... crazy, eh?

shitty 12.12.12. good it is over. terrible day for me. ok, cat broke my son's camera and it was my bleeding mistake. i punished myself enough. guess there was much to release and let go on that, basically mass-consciousness day which has nothing to do with anything, actually. nice sequence of numbers, nothing else... no hidden meanings, just pure makyo, spiritual bullshit.

so it was over. eddie sang with mr waters. eddie sang much better, see for yourself. i came up with grand idea about my theatre and future looks more promising now.

2012. fuck. was a roller coaster ride, at least for me. how you?

eddie sings comfortably numb for my pleasure.

go outside tonight and see lovely moon and meteor shower. just for you.

awaken. love yourself.

dok čekaš na malteške papire, ne smeš nigde da odeš sa malte. to jest, smeš da odeš, al ne mož se vratiš. iskreno, osećala sam se kao pravi dadli iz ''stolica''. al dadli iz stolica izađe kroz prozor, da ne kažem kapiju, tako da sam znala da i ovaj dadli mora, kad-tad. sloboda. oslobađanje. uzmeš pasoš i zapališ isti dan. tako i mi, gvozden me vodio u pariz. on išao na konferenciju, ja u šetnju. prvo nisam htela da idem, a onda se mislim, nisam normalna. ko može da odbije pariz? under circumstances? i uzmuvali smo energije, opet, najzad.

pošto sam predhodni put, prvi, bila jedan dan i jednu noć, sad sam bila tri dana.

divna varoš, sve mi je bilo potaman, sve mi je bilo domaće i kućno i sto puta.

znam dva izraza i dvanaest reči na francuskom, al svi su hteli da pričaju sa mnom, jer ja prvo kažem bonžur, pa onda udri engleski sa avec i apres.

svirali su mi orgulje u saint severin crkvi, a nije bila misa. fala. i srela sam se sa sv. mikajlom, da ne kažem familijom. kaže, spustio je mač, neće više da bije naše bitke. i uopšte, dosta je bitaka.

popeli smo se na kulu. bilo je famozno. nikad neću zaboraviti kad sam je prvi put ugledala. velika, prava, svetli. pa blješti. mesto moći.

pela sam se uz stepenice, pa silazila, gazila kilometre, svuda kud me je tanja vodila, a vodila me svuda. sa svima me upoznala. a ja se sećala, pa sećala... paralelna stvarnost. jedna od mnogih. hvala.

sutra drugo pomračenje. imajte spremnu nameru, želju, putić.

sve je dobro u svemu stvorenom, znate to...





my greatest desire, since ever, was to live in a tropical island. and do nothing but to be and enjoy being. so i finally got that. but i totally neglected possibility of isolation that living in an island might bring. waiting for my resident permit, which was like more than two months, brought me to feeling of imprisonment. i felt like deadly dadly that i played last year in ''chairs''. stuck in the island. then i remembered that dadly frees himself leaving thru the gate, so i knew this dadly is going same way.
once when we were granted with sticker, we immediately left. my son took me on a trip to paris. he was attending some conference and i was walking.

...and walking, and climbing stairs and crossing miles and it was worth every step i took. it was, oh, so familiar, so mine and i felt home. remembrance.

we climbed the tower, i loved it. place of power.
i visited st michael to check out if he comes without his sword this time and he said yes, no more fight, no more battles.
somebody played organ when i entered saint severin's church . merci. i knew that place.



i had wonderful guide, she introduced me to all. thank you.

grace, ease, flow. freedom.

so this is where i am at. the moment. we have another eclipse tomorrow. do have wish, intention or desire ready for it is going to come true. think of nice things.

all is well in all of creation. what else is possible?